Madison, WI/ Special from the Weather Channel/ Disaster Update w/Jim Cantori - On what was supposed to be just another balmy October day in picturesque Madison, Wisconsin, 500 environmental Journalists huddled together as temperatures plunged to 25 degrees, with a wind chill factor of -5, to hear Nobel Prize Winner Al Gore talk about Global Warming!
Gore, appearing in a black, four layer quilted parka looking like the Michelin Dough Boy that appears in the tyre commercial, stuttered and chattered his way through the same Global Apocalypse Scenario that he is banking on turning him into the World's Richest Politician with the biggest Carbon Footprint!
While most journalists were too cold to talk, or even ask questions, Irish Spoof.Com Reporter Fergus McCarthy, tried to confront Gore over a 2007 British Court Ruling that found no basis in fact for nine (9) of Gore's basic tenants.
Gore turned aside the probing question, and immediately McCarthy's microphone was shut off from the control center, a tactic that proved provident after several embarrassing incidents involving current VP Joe Biden
and President Obama mis speaking on items they had no earthly knowledge about.
Said McCarthy on air later, "Bob Ross can paint a clearer picture of the environment then this hot air balloon...!"
The UK court judge had found that a 20' rise in sea levels was not proven, but that 'scum' rings in hot tubs had increased in height 1mm, probably due to more interest in 'group sex'.
That there were no evacuations of Pacific Islands due to sea level changes, but that more people were moving to Australia for 'better sex'
That there was no evidence that the Gulf Stream was going to stop flowing.
The judge cited a message in a bottle that got to London from Miami, faster than the UK Postal Service could deliver it.
That there was no credible evidence of increased CO 2 and Temperature readings that Gore said he had researched and charted for '650,000 years.'
That diminishing snow on Mt. Kilimanjaro was due to condominium development by Donald Trump, and not to 'global warming."
That Lake Chad was drying up due to natives bottling the water for sale in America and France, and not due to temperature change.
That four (4) polar bears had not drowned trying to find ice bergs, but had floundered in a Tsunami and died of Hypertension.
That Coral Reefs were not being bleached by increased UV Rays of the sun, but by more and more scuba divers peeing in the Ocean.
McCarthy left before the Conference was over, skipping afternoon tea, but stopping at a nearby University of Wisconsin pub where he played a few games of darts, chatted up some coeds, and declared the weekend
'a total waste of me fooking time!"