NEW YORK (AP) John Kerry finally released his secret plan to bring peace to war-torn Iraq. "I am calling on all my old friends in Vietnam Veterans Against the War to re-kindle their efforts to bring an end to the American involvement in Iraq." With that statement, the Democratic presidential nominee took his campaign to the streets in an effort to regain his former glory as leader of the militant Vietnam Veterans Against the War.
"I am going to unseat the war-monger George W. Bush from the White House by calling for massive antiwar demonstrations by all former members of Vietnam Veterans Against the War. Most of us are getting on in years, but we still have what it takes to take over national monuments, march on Washington, and put an end to all the bloodshed in Iraq. I saved the names and addresses of all my old buddies in VVAW and I know I can count on them to end the war and put me in the White House"
Running mate John Edwards said, "I was a little too young to have served in Vietnam like John Kerry, but I am very proud to be on the ticket with a man who not only served his country in war, but sought to gain the peace afterwards in the antiwar movement. Every evening on the campaign bus, John Kerry still puts on his old faded jungle fatigues and VVAW button and then practices his old speeches that he gave before the Senate Foreign Relations Committee over thirty years ago."
"Most of the campaign workers on the bus are getting a little tired of the nightly ritual, but I think it's great! John will make a wonderful president. He even promised to give me a VVAW button when he becomes president!"
All across the country, former members of Vietnam Veterans Against the War have been receiving phone calls from John Kerry. Most of them are now very settled down with families and responsibilities, but a surprisingly large percentage of the former antiwar activists dropped whatever they were doing and answered John Kerry's call to re-kindle the antiwar movement.
At a secret meeting in New Jersey, several former VVAW members plan to re-take the Statue of Liberty and call for an end to the war in Iraq.