Written by shea lo
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Topics: Vancouver 2010

Tuesday, 6 October 2009

image for Vancouver Canucks Roberto Luongo bitten by the captaincy jinx

GM PLACE, VANCOUVER, BC: Game 3 into the season and Roberto Luongo the greatest goalie (?) has delivered Vancouver Canucks fans another big fat duck's egg.

The thud of disappointment felt after yesterday's game was akin to the last 2 playoff season thuds when the great Bobby Lou failed to deliver when it was needed the most. This was the guy with the incredible work ethic who won games "standing on his head", "snatching victory from the jaws of defeat", "outplaying his undisciplined team mates".

Bobby Lou - the Canucks great weapon, the guy who could single-handedly bring home the cup. So far the only cup coming home is the protective one. Unhappy Canucks fans have taken to cyberspace to express their wrath but beyond this expected dismay looms some cause for concern. Here are some niggling, unanswered questions:

What's the monkey on Luongo's back that he can't shake off?
Ongoing-groin injury? Or has someone or thing got into his head. Time to call in the Exorcist?
Is the captaincy the jinx? Or now that he has job security is he simply "working to rule"?
Why does he spend all his time looking over his shoulder as the puck hits the net? Helloo Bobby Lou - this is an Olympic year in case you've forgotten?

Things are not good in Canucks-land. Watching Canuck games has become a painful event. But everyone's in denial - too stunned to deal with the cold hard truth. This team is probably just a legend in its own mind. And to think that the bettors are placing odds on the Canucks winning The Cup. Cruel joke or maybe time for some honest talk?????

GM Mike Gillis wasn't saying anything and Coach Vigneault had a hard time not biting through his inner cheek last night. Or maybe the Canucks thought that their stellar pre-season exhibition games constituted the entire season?

Memo to management: this is not a question of "a few mistakes". This is plain shabby, crappy production for a team that should be gelling and getting BETTER - not WORSE.

Call the medics - Call the shamans - sprinkle holy water- exorcise the demons - get life support - pump in oxygen - whatever - but DO SOMETHING~~~ SOON!!!!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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