Washington DC-- The Moon will bomb the Earth on Friday. Targets include the Atlantic Ocean, California, and Illinois. The moon creatures are doing this purely for scientific research. They want to see if their is any moon dust on the Earth, among other things. Only one-quarter of the planet will be affected.
The moon creatures first plan to launch a 10-mile wide asteroid into the Atlantic. They are curious to see how high the resulting tsunami will be and how far inland the wave will go. The moon creatures are avid movie fans, and hope to see if they can duplicate the tsunami featured in 'Deep Impact.'
Next, the moon scientists will fire a photon bomb right into the San Andreas Fault in California. They are hoping to cause a 15.0 magnitude earthquake throughout the entire Pacific Rim. The results of this experiment should give some clues to the Moon's origin. Unfortunately, a few billion people will be killed. Science must advance, despite the cost.
Finally, the moon scientists will launch a 500-megaton neutrino bomb at the city of Chicago. The resulting dust cloud will determine if any moon dust has ever settled on the Earth's surface.
It is unknown how the new information could be useful, but it will at least give the moon creatures great photos!