CONGO Africa - As seen in person by this reporter-infiltrator (I cannot reveal my Bishop alias) in secret Bishop meetings here (which also include the Pope and his wife), the Pope said that Africa was great as prey for his religious rubbish. He said the age of innocence was over. It's time for everyone to be involved in his spiritual rubbish now.
Almost 2040 bishops from 52 African states have gathered to discuss how the Catholic Church can help increase the continent's uptake of "toxic spiritual rubbish" produced in Italy, where it is starting to cause "toxic spiritual rubbish" toxic shock syndrome.
The Pope says he will attend as few of the working sessions of the synod as possible, since he is so busy producing more "toxic spiritual rubbish" for export.
Jazz rhythms of Africa filled the huge St Peter's Basilica replica built by the Africans for his visit, as Pope Benedict opened the special synod, by saying "I am so glad you like my "spiritual rubbish". He then stripped down to his jock strap style underwear, cause it was Sofa King HOT!