Written by Mann Gland
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Sunday, 4 October 2009

image for Estonian Granny Hijacks Pedalo
Ulver crosses the Ionian earlier today

In shock news Estonian Granny and Financial Regulation Baiter "Ulver" has had to escape the Port of Sarande on Albania's Ionian Coast, in a daring venture reminiscent of the exploits of 1980s heroes the A Team.

Ulver, 89, former Estonian Prostitute and well known player of the pink Oboe, was traced to Sarande by the FSA's crack "Einsatz Kommando" or "enforcement" who were angered by her recent allegations that their employer was in fact a rotten to the core, waste of space who relied on corruption and nepotism to fill their ranks.

Traced to the Albanian 5 Star "U-Bendski" Motel, Ulver had to make good her escape by shinning down the drain-pipe and stretching her bloomers across her zimmer Frame to fashion a make-shift glider. She then Hijacked a Pedalo from under the noses of the Albanian Coastguard, and was last seen pedalling frantically for Corfu, pursued by the FSA Bastards in an Iron Clad Gunship.

A spokes-person for the Corfu Prefecture said today, " We like Prostitutes, We LIke Grannies and we like Estonians, so the FSA can go F**k themselves if they think they'll get Ulver back, the bastards" he munched over a tasty plate of Gyros and an ice-cool glass of Mythos.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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