Written by Bureau
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this
Topics: Sex, Old People, Viagra

Thursday, 1 October 2009

image for Chip On Shoulder Reminds Elderly, "Time For Sex"
"Greatest Invention since Swiss Army Knife"

A Swiss pharmaceutical group called Nervotis has developed an electronic pill and chip that it hopes will reduce the number of patients who have to be supervised taking their medicine.

Severine Baerrtschi, head of pharmaceuticals at Nevortis, said tests of the 'chip for the pill' to a shoulder receiver chip had been carried out on 200 patients.

"The biggest problem is with the older people not taking their blood pressure pill on time. They forget one day and they take one twice a day or more after forgetting if they have taken one or not. This makes their blood pressure erratic."

Thus far the tests have been very successful according to a reports, except in four cases where the wives had control of the chips.

"Four wives have misused the device into using it for their husbands to take Viagra and then, six hours later, tap into it again", stated Baertschi.

Two of those older people had to be hospitalized, apparently, as nurses aids had to practically carry them into the ER.

"I hurt every time I piss", stated one 76-year-old. "But I need to please Martha. It just seems like we stay in bed a lot. Why am I so weak, Doc? My legs are like rubber."

According to later findings after having the chips returned, the 76-year-old had taken over 100 penis-boosters in one month.

"If the granddaughter hadn't brought me to the ER", stated the old guy, "I would have definitely shot my wad!"

Make Bureau's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 5 multiplied by 1?

3 19 16 5
52 readers are online right now!

Go to top