Written by Jaggedone
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Topics: Damien Hirst

Thursday, 1 October 2009

image for Artist Damian Hirst shocks the world by starting his new career as an artist!
Artist Damian Hirst follows Picasso and attempts to paint a picture without taking the PISS!

World famous con-man, better known as the artist Damian Hirst is starting a brand new career. . .as an artist!

This announcement has shocked the world because everybody was conned into thinking that's what Damian had been doing all the time.

Well Damian has decided to come clean and told the world that his pieces, "animals in vinegar and piss" were just a massive "rip-off" made to make millions!

As for all those other shocking pieces exhibited in the renowned Tate Gallery and worldwide, well, they were just a "public piss take" and the galleries, public and art dealers fell for it all.

Now Damian has turned a new leaf (or paint brush!) and decided to paint some real art.

The world waits with abaited breath as Damian's new collection is about to be launched. Damian feels his proper art pieces are just plain "crap" and he can't fucking paint anyway, but his agents are marketing the collection as the ninth world art wonder behind Picasso, Dali, van Gogh, Rembrandt, Turner, Constable, Gaugain and Warhol (who?)

As for his pieces of animals in piss and vinegar and others, Damian has declared them worthless and Sotheby's has been inundated by multi-millionaire braindeads trying to flog the crap!

Sotheby's announced several boot sales around the UK where they could eventually get rid of the bullshit, also a famous work from Damian, soaked in cats taking the piss!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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