A piece of skull with a bullet hole through it that Russian officials have always claimed belonged to German Dictator, Adolf Hitler actually came from a woman, scientists at the University of Massachusetts have concluded. The cranium fragment is part of a collection of Hitler artifacts preserved by Soviet intelligence in the months after Hitler and Eva Braun reportedly committed suicide in a Berlin bunker in April 1945.
Through futher research, the University now has enough DNA evidence to declare that the skull appears to be that of missing airline pilot, Amelia Earhart who was last heard from in July, 1937.
"How Earhart came to be in Germany is anybody's guess", stated UMass spokesman, Professor Roy Hinkley Jr.
Earhart was last located over the Pacific Ocean near Howland Island, while attempting an around the world flight.
"Perhaps she was picked up by a German U-Boat after crashing", stated Thurston Howard IV, another expert working on the skull evidence. "I know my dad was on a small ship for a three-hour tour once and was gone for over three years."
"Oh, I remember my mother the actress was on that tour", stated Tia Louise. "Perhaps Amelia crashed and had amnesia and the German U-Boat came to her rescue."
"Earhart was the first woman to receive the Distinguished Flying Cross awarded for becoming the first aviatrix to fly solo across the Atlantic Ocean."
"Perhaps she flew solo she crashed", joked Howard who only drew a hard stare.
The key question is, of course, what happened to Hitler if this is not his skull?
"Maybe the U-Boat took him back to that island", stated Louise. "After all, they didn't find mom for over three years and that was despite that little idiot that ruined their every chance of leaving. They all voted to leave him there."
"If Hitler was there with the one dad described to me", stated Howard, "he would have shot himself before long, anyway."
A thorough search of Howland Island and any others nearby will be performed once again, just as it was in 1937.