Slzaczwa, Molvakia - The Prime Minister of Molvakia announced today that he is renouncing his country's allegiance with the United States.
Prime Minister Zinaida Szili said it is with great regret that he takes this action, because he has long admired the Unites States, its people, and its democratic traditions.
"Unfortunately, President Obama has sought to engage and validate regimes which are hostile to the United States by turning his back on America's allies. We've seen what he has done to Colombia, Poland, Honduras and the Czech Republic. We don't want to be next."
Having fought to free Molvakia from Soviet control in the 1990s, Mr. Szilisi is adamant that Molvakia will never be a Russian puppet state again.
The Molvakian parliament is meeting this week to sever diplomatic relations with the United States.
"We're also considering the implementation of a program to deny human rights to our non-Molvakian minority," said the Prime Minister. "If it takes show trials and executions of innocent people to get Mr. Obama to take a more favorable stance toward Molvakia, we'll do whatever it takes."