Prague - (Tangled World Wide Web): A Black Widow spider died in hideous agony from food poisoning after biting the Pope today.
Reporters watched mesmerised as the 3 inch diameter arachnid crawled up the pontifical vestments while Papa Ratzi rambled on oblivious.
Moments later the hairy crawler lunged at the Papal jugular where it buried its toxin-emiting fangs.
"I swear I heard a bloodcurdling gasp as the Widow suddenly froze, foaming at the oral orifice!" a conference delegate commented.
"Next thing we knew the little beast dropped dead! And the Pope didn't even notice he'd been bitten."
An autopsy later confirmed the spider must have reacted badly to some Opus Dei venom that legend has coursing through Joseph Ratzinger's blood supply.
Little Miss Muffet is having a damned good day.