Helsinki, Finland/ Sardine Can Auto News - Things went horribly wrong today during the debut of the US Taxpayer funded "Putzer', a four door hybrid sports sedan backed by Al Gore, and driven onto the stage by non other than the Green Weenie his own self!
To celebrate the debut, and to gloat over the $528m loan to Gore's company in the midst of the largest automobile depression in history, Gore decided to drive the car on stage , a decision now regretted by Obama's Car Czar, Ben 'Edsel' Studebaker, former head of production for BeLorean motor cars and Hub Cap cocaine distribution.
A staff writer for "Four Wheel Drift", an enthusiasts' car periodical wrote, "The former VP appeared on stage as a too large Weiss Wurst wrapped in a Mini-bun and appeared to be having a Maxi stroke as he attempted to extradite his whale like body from the sardine can sized vehicle."
Not as diplomatic, Rush Limbaugh likened the spectacle to having '10 pounds of doo doo stuffed in a 5 lb. box' on his Monday talk show.
Gore appeared to get redder in the face as he tried to squeeze himself out of the racing bucket seat. The only sound in the now dead silent auditorium were the periodic farts coming from the now straining 6'3 340 pound entrepreneur, which echoed in the spell, and now smell bound chamber.
Gore, a committed capitalist since he left public office, is credited with the invention and marketing of the Solar Powered Dildo, playing the dual roles of Herman Goering and a Flack Blimp in the historic reprise of "The Blue Max", and for being rescued on an island where he was found beached and disorientated after a nude swim with endangered star fish, all episodes now found in The Spoof Archives.
His newest venture, set to capitalize on his own made up version of "the sky is falling and it's too hot out", promotes the production of the "Putzer", set to retail at just under $90,000, with the preliminary production of 10 Democratic Signature Editions spoken for by assorted Czars and Congressional Leaders in the Obama Reorganization of America Leadership Team.(ORALT)
After the hall was cleared, it has been reported that Gore was rescued by The Jaws of Life wielded by the Helsinki Volunteer Whale Rescue Team, by now used to dealing with washed up and bloated carcasses.
In order to extradite Gore, it was also reported that the car was totaled due to the make up of it's outer shell of pressed Tofu, bonded Bamboo and impregnated brown rice husks. In a humanitarian gesture, Gore ordered the wreckage delivered to Somalia as 'free day old food' and took the appropriate tax write off.
A spokesman for Gore said the 'fat man' was resting comfortably, and was encouraged to learn he only had to sell 4 cars in order to pay for his own carbon footprint in his pending Cap & Trade Bill, where he would, in effect, be paying himself for his excessive emissions.