Written by Adam Click
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Topics: Pakistan, Proctology

Sunday, 27 September 2009

image for Pakistani Proctologists Withdraw Support for Al Qaeda Hemorrhoid Treatment
Early trials invovled inserting the explosives in the patient surgically.

A promising treatment for Hemorrhoids, one which was featured prominently in the Pakistan Journal of Medical Sciences, has now been denounced by Proctologists after clinical trials went awry.

The so-called "TNT Suppository" treatment, developed by the medical branch of the terrorist organization, Al Qaeda, was announced with great fan-fare, but the practical application of the treatment was less than successful, routinely destroying the patient while leaving the hemorrhoids behind.

The process involved applying the stabilized form of nitro glycerine, known as TNT or dynamite,internally, in hopes of destroying the affected tissues. "Our first difficulty was convincing the patients to insert dynamite up their rectums. We overcame that problem by forming the explosive in the shape of a penis." explained Al Qaeda Proctologist, Dr. Cheeksfo Ofnuts. "Then we had the problem of the patients wanting to insert more than one suppository at a time."

Despite early problems, the treatment held so much promise that trials continued with many terrorists making assholes of themselves in the process. The final straw came during field trials in Saudi Arabia when an Al Qaeda operative ripped himself a new one while trying to assassinate an anti-terrorist official there.

"There will be no more trials,", exclaimed Doctor Ofnuts, " until such time that we can overcome the propensity of the patients to stick multiple phalluses up their behinds!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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