Afghanistan - The world-wide recession is starting to be felt as far afield as the secret lairs and training grounds of Al Qaeda. In a recent press release Osama Bin Laden appeared visibly tired and announced that due to cost constraints terrorist attacks this year will be limited to water balloon attacks and pinning post-it notes on the backs of Americans saying "Kick-me, I am the great Satan."
The video which in the past was viewed on prime-time news at Al Jazeera was run during the late night infomercial time-slot and was interrupted by a number of commercials starring Bin Laden promoting Blue-Blocker Sunglasses and The Abdominizer.
Reports indicate that president Obama has made things difficult for Bin Laden by softened the position of Al Qaeda against the United States. To help out, George Bush offered to provide official enemy services to Al Queda as a consultant to boost morale to previous levels but his hourly rate was refused.
Since the cut-backs were announced the reward for suicide bombers has been cut back as well from seventy-two virgins to one seventy-two year old virgin.
Isolated attacks by Al Qaeda are still being reported however and include such things as short-sheeting hotel beds of heads of state at the G20 summit and painting mustaches on pictures of president Obama.