Reykjavík - News on the warf from the fishing captain of the Smelly Gut fishing vessel here, Captain Vjernikisivk is that his whalemeat is soon to be the coin of the realm.
With the demise of the Icelandic monetary system, and the closing of all fast food restaurants in Iceland, whalemeat and whale blubber are the only legal tender as of today in that country.
Also, Iceland will no longer accept payment for any debts except the new currency. In order to assure smooth operation of the system, a bounty will be paid for any anti-whaling activists: their weight will be paid in whale blubber when turned in dead.
The main use of the whalemeat in international trade will be to buy items made in Japan. The Japanese love whale blubber with aspartame. Sumo wrestlers there would swallow the whales whole and alive, if they would fit.