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Topics: Farting

Friday, 25 September 2009

image for Farting to be banned; no more smellies
The UN building is located on the site of an old gas treatment works

New York, Thursday: Following a unprecedented gathering of world leaders at the UN building in New York, a formal treaty was agreed to banning farting in most of the world's nations.

US President Barack Obama chaired the special meeting convened following a communique issued at the last G20 meeting in Italy six months ago. Detail of the agreement was thrashed out behind closed doors (no, not water closets) and was believed to forbid farting in confined and open spaces with the exception of some wilderness areas as designated by the agreement.

The only dissenting voice was Libya's Colonel Gaddafi who said that the treaty would discriminate against all his camel herds. Experts say that farting accounts for two thirds of the world's carbon emissions, so the treaty was overdue. People are now being asked to wear special internal gas capturing devices that will prevent the odious spread of gases associated with "ripping one off".

The special meeting was just concluding when UK Prime Minister Gordon Brown accidentally broke wind rather loudly and at considerable length. He quickly apologised but not before twenty seven heads of state walked quickly out of the assembly room.

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