Written by Aspartame Boy
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Topics: Aspartame

Friday, 25 September 2009

image for U.S. Charges 'Afghan Stan' With Bombing Pot
Stan's internal organs are pickled with aspartame

NEW YORK (Stoned Monk Press) - A Nevada bus-station shuttle-bus driver was arrested under feral terrorism laws with plotting to set off stink bombs in the station and accused of acquiring the same stink-bomb making materials used in most high schools.

Alibabajibullahney 'Stan' Azizey, 22 was indicted by a monkey court and charged with conspiracy to commit crimes of ass destruction and mass smelliness.

Stan was reportedly buying mass quantities of beauty products which did him no good. He was the ugliest sucker ever arrested in these parts.

Also, his plan to make a stink bomb was silly. He smells so bad, he needs no stink bomb. Stan loves to drink diet soda loaded with aspartame; Stan had no clue that that kills more people than his silly stink bomb ever could.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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