Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez delivered an address to the United Nations Thursday, then delivered a crack rattler that replaced the "smell of hope" at the world body with a much more pungent aroma, said witnesses.
"It most certainly does not smell of 'hope' here anymore," said U.N. President Ali Abdussalam Treki, referring to a comment made by Chavez only a few moments before.
"In fact, it smells of something else entirely," he said, grimacing as he stepped away from the podium, fanning at the air with his arms. "Phew! Are you going to be alright, Señor Chavez? What on Earth did you eat yesterday?"
Chavez had spent the first few minutes of his speech talking about revolution in South America and taking political shots at his former rivals, according to witnesses.
The rest of his speech was punctuated by silent-but-deadly air biscuits, they said.
Later, he referenced John F. Kennedy's assassination and added his hopes that God will protect President Obama from the same fate, then turned loose with an audible cornhole tremor, stepping down from the podium as Obama turned green and lost consciousness.
Members of the U.N. praised Chavez for the straightforward manner in which he had spoken, but were unanimous in their condemnation of his messages from the interior and called for a cap on Venezuelan emissions.