Written by Dingwall Johnson
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Monday, 21 September 2009

A Jerusalem Arti has choked to death in what Israeli police are describing as a racially motivated attack.

The "Jerusalem Arti-Choke" as papers have taken to calling the attack happened in the full view of Christians and Muslims paying homage at a shrine dedicated to football legend Sir Bobby Robson.

A police spokesman said: "This appears to have been an unprovoked attack. One minute Jerusalem Arti was walking along happy as Larry and thinking about having himself with an onion, Virgin olive oil chopped parsley and a mere baguette when suddenly he was taken from behind and strangled and strained before being roughly chopped."

He added: "The crime is one of a spate of random attacks which include eggs being poached and skewered kebabs."

As yet, noone has claimed responsibility for the attack which has inflamed burgers and piece keeping soldiers alike."

Police are appealing for cabbages.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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