Stonehenge - (Drew-ids): ...takes place on Tuesday. The next morning, World Wiccan Council sources have said, all hell can be expected to break loose as the nascent Sun in Libra squares up to Pluto in Capricorn.
"This could mean something horrible for birthday-girl Cherie Blair QC," the WWC adds, "fifty five on Wednesday and hurtling headlong to a life behind bars at HMP Brodmoor for the Brinks-Matt bullion heist."
Astrologers also warn that the omens also augur ill for Nazi octogenarian monarchy usurpers like Mrs Joseph Ratzinger.
"And don't forget her fascist co-conspirators at the BBC, the CIA and Bugger King hamburger emporium," the Transvestite Times stargazer warns readers.
Emma Watson was cursed at birth?