Technicians aboard the International Space Station reported to ground crews this morning that a gigantic "X" has been discovered on the floor of the Gulf of Mexico.
The "X" measures more than 150 miles across, is black in color, and reportedly looks just like the kind of mark you would expect to find on a treasure map.
One observer remarked, "I thought I was looking at some kind of Earth-sized treasure map! Of course, there has to be a natural explanation, but that 'X' sure looked like it was put there for a reason."
The United States Navy, which suddenly has more than 20 ships in the area, some 80 miles west of Fort Meyers, has issued the following preliminary statement:
"Late Thursday night, a series of special water balloons were launched in the area, and we suspect that the astronauts are seeing a random configuration of the free-floating balloons. Another possibility is that we simply don't know what we are talking about."
UFO buffs have been streaming to the area in record numbers, but no one is sure exactly why. One such pilgrim, when asked, answered, "Why do you think people are going to the beach on a beautiful Saturday afternoon? You guys can't find many decent news stories today, can you?"