Written by Dingwall Johnson
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Topics: Susan Boyle

Thursday, 17 September 2009

A judge has ordered Kanye West to desist from attempting to contact worldwide sensation Susan Boyle.

Security was stepped up at the recent America's Got Talent final, with guard dogs positioned around the studio perimeter in case Kanye West attempted to upstage the Scottish sensation.

West was also placed on the FBI's most wanted list after a series of violations of his superstar status.

In the wake of increasingly bizarre behaviour such as comparing Beyonce with little known country singer Taylor Swift, a judge, er, judged that it would be better for all concerned if Kanye "just quit it".

A search of the diminutive R&B superstar, or whatever he is, unearthed a large stash of cordless microphones thought to have been purloined from TV studios around the world.

A Kanye West spokesperson said: "Sales of Kanye West records have soared since he made an ass of himself on the MTV EVAs. So the stunt worked."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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