Written by Morse
Print this

Wednesday, 16 September 2009

image for In Down Economy Michelle Obama Launches White House Flea Market to Support Fired ACORN Workers!
Tents on White House Lawn Signify Acorn ' Going Out of Business Sale'

Washington, DC/ News from the Frugal Shopper - In a show of moral support for recently disenfranchised ACORN workers, those laid off wholesale as Congress cut off billions of funding due to corruption, fraud and downright stupidity, First Lady Michelle Obama is opening up the white house lawn 3 days a week to fund an ACORN flea market.

She said she will also be selling Okra from her personal Victory Garden.

Thousands of now jobless ACORN workers, some from as far away as California, have been showing up for the past 24 hours driving clunkers, rental trucks, and government leased sedans and SUVs loaded with the loot cleaned out of abandoned ACORN offices, and paid for by the US taxpayers.

The Government Accounting Office, GAO, said the first lady had authorized the rental of $1.5M in tents from the Dubai Tent Rental Consortium in order that the ACORN vendors could be protected from the elements, as well as to protect the goods they were trying to sell.

A preliminary inspection of items for sale covered the spectrum reflecting the previous prosperity of the now vacated ACORN offices.

A collection of 52" Sony HD tvs were offered for as little as $49.95. There were so many Ipods and Blackberries this reporter lost count. Price $10.95.

There were 7 piece leather sectionals, surround sound systems, the latest in
office phone systems, micro waves, capuccino makers, charge card processors, pre paid phone cards, Blank Government American Express credit cards, as well as gas credit cards with from the 3 biggest oil companies.

Those searching for computers were in luck, as the latest $2500 Mac Laptop loaded with 'snow leopard' and a data base of Democratic Donors, as well as a Republican 'hit list' were available for $39.95.

In the parking lot a host of leased vehicles were available, with from 6-36 months remaining on their prepaid leases. The vehicles ranged from a Prius (one only at $2500), to 49 Land Rovers, with leather, to the 574 Cadillac Escalades, all in black with the Gold Bling Package. Two were fully armored.

The Government Sponsored Flea Market accepted only cash, and there were
14 ATMs , owned by the ACORN National Bank, on site ready to convert plastic to cash for the sale.

As part of the festivities Michelle arranged for an open bar to put buyers in a more festive mood in hopes they would not mind the 'buyers' premium of 10% tacked on to the final sales price which was earmarked for the
'Michelle Obama Tax Free Chicago Olympic Lobbying & Bribery Committee.'

Mingling with the crowd, as well as supplying entertainment, were such notables as Barbara Streisand, George Clooney, David Letterman, and The Spice Girls. Also in attendance, but registered as 'buyers reps' for Venezuelan Narco Dictator, was Sean Penn and film maker Oliver Stone.

Van Jones was on hand to coordinate the sale of the organic vegetables from Michelle's Garden.

Bo, the White House Dog, is still missing under mysterious circumstances.

The Investigation into his disappearance, as well as House Investigations into Corrupt Practices by Charles Wrangle (sic) and Jesse Jackson, Jr. have been called off by the Attorney General.

Fox News was the only media outlet to cover the sale.

Make Morse's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 2 plus 3?

9 5 2 20
76 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more