Written by Monkey Woods
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Topics: Thailand

Sunday, 13 September 2009

image for Hull Man Passes Kidney Stone - Lobs It Through Windscreen Of Passing Tuk Tuk Driver
Where you go?

A British man living in the Thai eastern seaboard resort of Pattaya caused pandemonium yesterday when, after taking a piss and passing a pebble-sized kidney stone, he launched the offending article off his 9th floor balcony and straight through the windscreen of a passing motorist.

The man, Monkey Woods, originally from Hull in Yorkshire, had been suffering agonisingly for three days with terrible pains in his left-hand side, and visited the Pattaya Memorial Hospital in the town. He was told to "expect the worst", and returned home, waiting for the 'big event'.

That came on Saturday night as he watched Arsenal being ripped apart by Manchester City on the telly. During the halftime break, he went to the toilet to relieve the pressure on his bladder, and produced the large stone amid screams of terror and pain.

As the rock splashed into the toilet bowl, Woods grabbed it and ran out onto his balcony to banish it from his sight - just as Somsak Wichaboon's Tuk Tuk sped past the building, and the inevitable happened.

Somsak was unhurt, but needed a new windscreen. He was very understanding though, and not at all critical of the unfortunate Woods, whose knob had swollen to four times its normal size and was clearly visible throbbing in his shorts.

A police spokesman said Somsak had had a lucky escape, and that Woods should probably review his diet.

Make Monkey Woods's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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