Written by Mark Mywords
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Thursday, 10 September 2009

image for Michelle Obama in Global Bid To Help Health Care Initiative
"Get yo bony ass off the canvas, honey! I TOLD you white girls couldn't fight."

In an e-mail which was leaked this morning from the White House, details are now emerging about how Barack Obama plans to finance his health care initiative, a corner-stone of his policy platform during the early stages of his presidency, although to those who have been following the ballooning size of his glamorous and yet increasingly intimidating wife's biceps in the past few weeks, it may come as no surprise.

It appears that following the diplomatic 'rift' with the UK in recent weeks, the Oval Office began to hatch a plan to generate billions of dollars of extra income, assisted by the news that British 'glamour girl' Jordan was not only dating cage fighter Alex Reid, but that she fancied going 'toe to toe' with him. Once that news broke, it was only minutes before a suitably deranged Barack Obama was on the direct line to London, chewing Gordon Brown out, and indicating that his wife was now securing the services of Don King to promote some 'girl on girl' action with Jordan (aka Katie 'at the right' Price).

For her part, Jordan was said to be 'well up for it' - as she usually is. "I have a f**king good right, and an equally f**king good left," she said. "They're both hard as bleeding nails - and me f**king punching ain't too shabby, neither."

The e-mail indicates that a deal has now been done for Michelle 'the Slammer' O'WamBammer to fight the Brit' beauty at Caesar's Palace in December. All proceeds (both from ticket sales and television rights) will go to the 'Obama Wants To Give All Americans The Right To Free Toothpaste' campaign.

Don King is being sponsored by 'Stick Your Fingers Into An Electrical Socket For That Perfect Hairstyle Salon', Beverley Hills, CA.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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