Written by Morse
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Wednesday, 9 September 2009

image for Bank Calls Obama's Home Loan Due to Real Estate Crisis: Frank and Fannie Friends Ride to Rescue..Again!
Obama's Rennovated Home In Chicago Saved from Foreclosure Thanks to Barney Frank and Millions of American Taxpayers!

Chicago,Il/ Real Estate Hard Times - According to Representatives from the Icelandic national bank, the value of President Obama's personal residence in now officially 'underwater', and they are calling the loan.

Obama purchased the Georgian Style mansion in 2005 when he was still a state senator claiming he wanted to 'move up' from the one room flat on the city's South Side.

Seeking help from now convicted fundraiser Tony Rizzo, the two put together a deal where Obama was able to buy the house, and Rizzo was able to purchase the adjoining lot, since the previous owner wanted a package sale on the entire property.

Obama, earning $66,000 a year, plus 'stipends' as a state legislator , took out a $1,320,000 loan on the $1.65m purchase price, and later bought part of the adjoining piece from Rizzo for in excess of $100k.

Recent re evaluations of property, including Obama's at 5046 South Greenwood Ave in the affluent Kenwood neighborhood have plummeted.
Depleted values are blamed on the economy, as well as the unwarranted intrusions on the neighborhood due to continuous appearances of devoted
Acorn community activists who continue to host wild Friday night parties featuring rap stars and ending with animal sacrifices.

A current valuation of the property is somewhere between $250,000 and $359,000, and doesn't include assumed costs to bring the home up to standards, or to correct $2.2M in upgrades provided by Chicago Police, the majority of them done without a building permit.

Appraisers are not questioning the 1,000 bottle wine storage room, but are curious about 'miscellaneous expenses' totaling over $400,000 at "Leroy's Package Store" a local liquor hangout and private dance club on the South Side.

Meanwhile, further real estate investigations reveal that title to the home is in a land trust controlled by the Icelandic National Bank, in fact, that makes the bank both the lender and the borrower in the transaction, or as Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner explained, "its just Obamanomics", too complex to explain to most people, but it works for us!"

Adding to the financial problem is the fact that the Obamas took out a $750k line of credit against the house in the form of another trust in the name of their dog, Bo. That line has $15.75 remaining before it too is tapped out.

House Banking Chairman, Barney Frank, along with Senate Finance Chairman,
Chris 'last call' Dodd have been notified by Rahm Emanuel of the banks's actions and pledged to right, what they call, "this affront to prevent the average working man from owning his own house!"

Reportedly Frank moved swiftly to have friends at "Fannie" take over the loan, thereby forestalling default proceedings. According to "Friends of Frank" at Fannie both the loan and the evaluation are now in good standing, and the President's line of credit has been upped to $1.5M in anticipation of his windfall profits on 3 new books and his personal investment in Cap @Trade and Health Care Reform. Frank did require, however, that the American Taxpayer sign on as 'co borrower' in the unlikely event the American Economy continued to falter and the President found himself forced to call for yet another 'bailout.'

Make Morse's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 3 multiplied by 3?

8 9 2 25
55 readers are online right now!

Go to top