Former United States President George W. Bush explained the reasoning behind National Breast Appreciation Day to reporters, describing the reasoning behind an event that will now be celebrated in more than thirty countries. The holiday is scheduled for September 28th (Monday) and will be a three day weekend to many of the world's workers.
From his Crawford, Texas ranch, Bush made the following statement: "Well, it all goes back to when I was doing the eighth grade for the second time. We had a picnic to celebrate the beginning of a new school year and I was there friendicating and such."
"I wasn't much on girls back then, still thinking that they had cooties and all. Wanda Jane ...I won't tell you her last name because Mr. and Mrs. Spencer might get mad that I'm telling stories on their daughter... anyway, Wanda Jane said that she had something to show me and we went out into the woods a little ways."
"She opened up her shirt and I got to see the first pair of titties in my life. When she told me that I could touch one of her breastesses, I spunked all over the inside of my jeans. It was the day I started my pubertiation and became a man."
"I thought that we needed a day to celebrate titties, so we're doing it on the anniversary of the day I saw my first ones."