Tora Bora - (Bong-Hits-4-Osama Mess): NATO farces commander General McChrystal has vowed to end Non-Aligned Crack Barons Association turf wars with a lucrative Kabulshit narcotics contract.
The Pentagon-inspired policy upgrade offers an immediate stimulus package in the form of a ten year Fairtrade agricultural deal.
This assigns agrarian poppy cultivation to rival Mujahedeen factions linked to leading Global Piss Process luminary Prince Jefri Archer of Brunei.
In return the Taliban could be offered lucrative Halliburton exploration contracts in North-Western Pakistan's very own version of the San Andreas Fault.
A US Geological Survey seismic activity report promises access to vast untapped natural gas deposits.
Texan-based Zion Oil is the contract underbidder.