Tokyo - (X-Files Mess): "His penis was rock hard like Martian monolith!" Japan's new first lady 'Sudoku' Hatoyama has told startled Tokyo TV viewers as she described shagging Tom Cruise on an acid trip to Venus.
The piledriver moment even altered the molecular structure of Mrs H's Copper-7 IUD which began picking up radio signals from a mothership spermbank.
Did the encounter result in a new alien hybrid?
Mrs Hatoyama isn't saying. But her extraterrestrial nocturnal emissions have tantalised the country ahead of her husband's Yukio swearning in on September 16.
Only potential lawsuits from Katie Holmes' lawyers threaten to put the kybosh up the extramarital business.
Suri Holmes is six and a half.