Written by Morse

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Topics: Hillary Clinton

Wednesday, 2 September 2009

image for Hillary Clinton Signs On To Promote Ramadan: "I Lost 65 lbs in September!"
Hillary to Press: Wait Till October, and You Can Show My Ass!

Washington, DC/ Weight Watchers News Blob(sic) - Holy Shrinking Heinie! Madison Avenue Advertising King, Festus McCrony, announced today the star crossed signing of the walking billboard, Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton, to be their 'anchor' in the just launched "I Love Ramadan" religious holiday advertising program set to hit in prime time tomorrow.

"Ramadan stands for good health, pure thoughts, modesty, spirituality, and stands against indulging in excess personal gratification. It also stresses forgiveness of past sins, and during prayer sessions, asks one to seek guidance in future activities", said the self made millionaire noted for promoting a host of off the wall products, but financially rewarding schemes.

"We landed 'the big whale', a marketing marque...who better could stand to lose more than a few pounds while promoting goodness and light in our complex world!"

Financial arrangements have not yet been announced, but sources not authorized to discuss illegal lobbying payments to appointed officials, say, "it's a big one...she'll be able to have HER OWN library, and probably a few branches as well!"

Clinton's spiritual adviser, who will remain with her for the month of September, says Hillary should be able to drop "at least 10 pant suit sizes," if she follows the religious regimen of fasting from dawn to dusk, and washing her pedicured toes 5 times a day before praying for payback for her alter ego, Bill.

Insiders say Hillary is strangely whistful, and was heard to say mournfully, "if only Vince (Foster) could have waited till October...."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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