Written by Frankie The J
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Topics: Mexico, Ted Kennedy

Sunday, 30 August 2009

image for 12,937 Mexicans can't be wrong: Grabbed their dongs to honor Ted Kennedy

MEXICO CITY (ABSNN) - In what can only be called the most bizarre Ted Kennedy funeral tribute thus far seen on the planet, nearly 13,000 Mexicans grabbed their penises-or pretended to possess penises to grab-before the Monument of the Revolution in Mexico City Saturday afternoon while the late US Senator was being laid to rest.

Dressed in paramilitary clothing with one white glove, wrap-around sunglasses, fedoras and assorted medals, the honor guard got so carried away by their grief over Kennedy's death that they inflicted great bodily pain upon themselves.

EMT's on the scene estimated nearly 10,000 testicles were "popped like grapes."

Mexican police attempted to disperse the crowd by playing a tape-looped Michael Jackson song, "Beat It," from the late King of Pop's Thriller album.

"It was like pouring gasoline on a fire to put it out," said Jose Jose, a firefighter from Tijuana.

The Mexican tribute brought tears to the eyes of the Kennedy family who stood for hours in front of the Eternal Flame at the rest-home of Ted Kennedy's brother, John F. Kennedy, who remains dead in a grave at Arlington National Cemetery.

ABSNN cameras recorded the Kennedy clan softly singing La Bamba as a US Army bugler played in the background.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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