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Friday, 28 August 2009

image for JACKO Report: Readership Decline Threatens Entitlement Programs at "The Spoof"
DAMNIT!! Source of nearly half site's content should be laid to rest within a week.

SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Even as some spoof writers lobbied vigorously for the largest expansion of veteran writer entitlements in The Spoof's history, a report from the site's Jackson Aftermath Comedy Kickback Operative (JACKO) indicates that key spoof veteran entitlement programs are nearly insolvent.

The future for The Spoof looks bleak with readership fading in the wake of Michael Jackson's passing; nothing quite so hilarious lies in the forseeable future, according to a grim JACKO report issued Tuesday by The Spoof administrators. Millions of writers at the site had come to rely heavily on Jacko as a source of material, including many veterans who now want their status protected.

The JACKO study suggests readers' tolerance for stories about the King of Pop will be completely exhausted in mid-2011. Last year, site administrators said they did not expect that to happen until at least 2013.

These trends may have a profound effect on writers who have grown accustomed to receiving covert kickbacks and special privileges.

"Shhh! ...It's top secret!" said Jalapenoman in a forum conversation with Queen Mudder on Thursday when she indicated a strong preference for being able to do things "without waiting for the usual turnaround time from editorial."

J-Man advised her - "Get the whole thread deleted" was part of his statement concerning the alleged entitlements.

Other figures from the JACKO report indicate American attention spans face depletion in 2017, four years sooner than previously projected; this could means The Spoof, just set to debut in the Online Spoof News providers' Top 100,000 list, may eventually be forced to switch to an all snippet format.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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