Written by queen mudder
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Topics: Pope, Ted Kennedy

Thursday, 27 August 2009

image for Hitler's Pope gave him his First Holy Communion but Papa Ratzi refused Ted Kennedy Last Frights
Ratzi threatened to give him hemlock instead of Holy Communion at the National Stadium Mass last year

Vatican City - (Bejaysus! Mess): A self-proclaimed drunk, adulterer, divorcee and pro-choice abortion legislator Kennedy always reckoned himself to be 'in with a chance' for a proper Papal sendoff when the time came.

But reports that Pope Joseph Ratzinger refused Senator Ted Kennedy the full-frontal Act of Extreme Unction last frights this week have shocked many.

"He had this impeccable Vatican pedigree," Cardinal John Egan's favorite altarboy told reporters today.

Indeed, 'Hitler's Pope' Pius XII himself gave Teddy his introductory exorcism, er...First Holy Communion in 1939.

And then 20 year later New York Cardinal Francis Spellman initiated him in to Holy Wedlock with Virginia Joan Bennett.

In 2008 however Pope Benedict told the ailing Massachussetts senator to go take a hike when he attempted getting into the queue for Holy Communion at Washington's National Stadium Papal Mass.

Last December the Vatican Bank lost $300 million when Bernard Madoff's Ponzi scam went belly-up.

"Absolutely no connection, of course!" a Holy See source reiterated today.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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