Hollywood, Ca. - A local man who continued to live his life in peace the same way he had before the death of Michael Jackson was mobbed by reporters and then beaten, stomped, kicked, stabbed, shit one and then set on fire in front of the County Court House for failure to follow the unending, mind numbing, schizoid, record breaking mass media death extravaganza.
The local press then pulled what was left of the man out into the street were he was run over by a caravan of network news satellite trucks and newspaper delivery vans.
Pronounced dead at Mount Streppstaff Hospital in downtown Hollywood was the obviously insane victim Herman Harmony of West Livermore.
Hollywood Police Chief Morse Horace described the incident as, "One terrible event. I still find it hard to believe that Mr. Harmony is dead. It's a sad day for the Harmony family, but he got what was coming to him, the poor bastard. He obviously should have shown more interest in Michael Jackson's death."
A family spokesman said Mr. Harmony would be buried quietly in the coming days, but no where near Michael Jackson's tomb.