Tripoli - (Scott-free Mess): Freed Lockerbie bomber AbdelBasset Ali al-Megrahi has opened a Vegas-style strip club-cum-casino in the Libyan presidential palace just days after legging it from Scotland.
So thrilled was Colonel Gaddafi at al-Megrahi's spectacular PR coup that her personally signed over a franchise to run the country's highest honor, er...second biggest national industry - a casino licence for visitng naturists.
"It's what a compassionate Scottish higher power would have wanted," Gaddafi told slightly nervous religious wingnuts in his cabinet.
Al-Megrahi's miraculous recovery from the jaws of the Scottish grim bum-reaper has been seen as a Ramadan omen.
He has been showered with gold watches, Rolls Royce motors, diamond jewellery and countless biopic movie deals.
And JK Rowling has now vowed to have his baby.