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Monday, 24 August 2009

image for Annual World Masturbation Championships Held in Wacker, Georgia
One possible actress whose picture may be used in the visual stimulation category

This year, the World Masturbation Championship will be held in the town of Wacker, Georgia, United States. Previous championships have been held in a rotation in Wanker, England and Beater, Australia. Festivities will include the induction of Paul Reubens (a.k.a. Pee Wee Herman) into the Jack-off Hall of Fame.

Contestants will compete for prizes in several categories: self masturbation (with and without visual stimulation, most volume, quickest, and slowest events), team masturbation (most volume, quickest, and slowest events), and the ever popular shooting for distance event.

One rule change is that all visual stimulation pictures must be of the same person (though different pictures of that person may be chosen). The as-yet-unnamed woman is known to be a popular Hollywood actress, but her identity has not yet been made public. This was due to Dick Cheney's win two years ago by seeing a picture of a shotgun and last year's victory by George W. Bush looking at a picture of himself.

This year's odds on favorite to win the overall prize is U.S. President Barack Obama, who has been called the biggest jerk off in the world.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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