London-- Swine flu has attacked the Royals at Buckingham Palace, and the Queen herself is the latest victim. Her Royal Highness awoke with a fever, sore throat and a bad headache this morning. Prince Phillip also has the nasty bug.
The usually pleasant monarch was in an unpleasant mood today. One of her loyal servants asked her how she was feeling and she snapped out.
"How do you think I feel, you bloody twit! You cloth-eared bint! Bloody git!" she yelled.
The Queen was expected to make a full recovery. She vomited all over another servant and said she felt a lot better.
Prince Phillip also recovered from the swine flu, after only a single day.
"If I was a flu virus, I would have killed a billion of you useless eaters by now." he yelled to no one. Prince Phillip punched a different servant in the face and also felt better.
Doctors believe no one else in the royal household will catch the swine flu. Not even viruses like Prince Charles, and Camilla's face scares all germs away.
The two strange boys, Prince Harry and Prince Whatshisname, are constantly masturbating so they have very clean hands. The only thing the two wankers have to worry about is going blind.