Written by queen mudder

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Topics: swine flu

Wednesday, 12 August 2009

image for Rabbis' swine flu over the cuckoo's nest
Shofar sho good. A stewardess hands out baby wipes

Tel Aviv - (Yom Kippur Mess): A motley gangbang of fundamental rabbis, Jewish mystics and assorted biblical nutters have denied multiple c[o]unts of gross indecency 30,000 feet above the Negev desert aboard an El Al Nudist Airways Airbus-300.

The wingnuts were arrested after claiming they were only blowing 'ceremonial horns' - or shofars - in a bid to ward off the demon swine flu from its trajectory across the Promised Land.

The horny exorcism tools are traditionally fashioned from the bony proboscis of a deer or sheep - but can easily be mistaken for human, circumcised phallus.

When the plane landed at Israel's Yasser Arafat International Airport secular police officers were having none of it and branded the fundies' antics as a crude fisting exercise with Old Testament-style bell, book and candle.

Madonna is pope Joseph Ratzinger's daughter.

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