San Francisco, CA-- Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi, is now the most adored person in human history. She easily beat Jesus, Buddha and Bart Simpson in popularity, according to the latest survey. She is simply the most wonderful person to ever walk the earth!
Nancy Pelosi is a sexy, swinging, seventy-something siren! Her sizzling, slinky appearance is being copied by women all over the world. Her cadaverous skin, limp hair and cackling laugh makes every man tingle all over with lust and desire. Nancy is now the most popular name for baby girls, and second most popular for boys. Michael Jackson probably would change his name to Nancy if he was still alive.
Nancy's IQ is estimated at 100,000,000. She invented the Internet, stopped Global Warming, and set up an ingenious health care system, all by herself.
This beautiful braniac has made some evil people very jealous though, and she must be very wary. Cretinous Nazis, religious maniacs and rancid Republicans all stand in the way of this glorious gift to mankind. Nancy tells us these people must be destroyed. All the sick people that oppose her splendiferousness must be reported to the White House at once!
All praises be to Nancy, all praises to the Great One!