The search for Madeleine McCann has taken a shocking turn after it was announced they are looking for Victoria Beckham.
The McCann family spokesman Clarence Mitchell said: "We are looking for the woman Victoria Beckham."
Reporters were sure Mr Mitchell had made a mistake and had meant to say a woman who looks like Victoria Beckham. But he said: "No, we want Victoria Beckham."
Explaining the baffling development, Mr Mitchell said: "Look, I've got to justify my job. I used to work at the BBC, you know. No one will employ me now, so I have to do something to keep my paymasters on the front page."
A spokesman for Victoria Beckham said: "If Mr Mitchell persists in being a prat, we will sue him for everything he's got, which is about £3 and an apple."
Mrs Beckham was not available for comment. She was said to be busy having new breasts implanted.