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Saturday, 14 August 2010

image for 2 years on and the invisible man is still missing
The Invisible Man - last seen cycling down Ku'Damm, Berlins main shopping street.

2 Year Anniversary approaches for missing invisible German man.

Following our world-wide exclusive two years ago about the fate of a missing local man from Berlin, we can exclusively reveal that nothing of any major significance has happened since we broke the story and the invisible man is still at large.

The previously un-known man has now been named as Einhard Onn and New Chief detective Herr Lipp of Berlin Police told us going public with his name is the last chance to find him. - "We had plenty of crazy calls from the public last time when we didn't name him. One sighting came from a doctors receptionist who shouted out the next patient as the missing invisible man, to which the doctor replied - tell him I can't see him."

Continued Herr Lipp - "We decided to go public with his name, after all it's not uncommon to hear his name being whispered down the local dogging site"
"We even sent undercover officers to the World Invisible Man Contest in Munich on the off chance he may have made it there, but when we got there, there was no-one to be seen."

His family too are at a loss as to where Einhard is....

His brother, local cardboard box designer Milkart Onn told reporters that 'I called round for him last Christmas, but there was no answer, even his wife had left' 'Did he have kids?' asked the NTNON reporter, 'No he's not apparent' said his brother.

His sister Frau Nupp Onn said she still phoned every week and left messages, but he never replied and this was just 'typically infantile behaviour'

His mother in law, Alice Verboten verified that her daughter had since moved out of the marital home and that she had never liked him anyway. 'I don't know why, call it a mums intuition, but I could see right through him straight away. Honestly I don't know what she ever saw in him anyway, he wasn't much of a looker'

Neighbour, Walter Walcarpitz also told the NTNON reporters that he too hadn't seen him for the last couple of years... "last time I saw him was 2 years ago and I said to him then 'Long time no see"

Meanwhile, Das Spoof the german website who put up €50k euros to find him announced it was no longer running the story or offering the reward as it believed his family were hiding him to get the reward.

Editor in Chief Felix Cited said "The cheeky bastards are holding him somewhere ready to announce him and claim the reward. All the information they gave us has been just a little too transparent"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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