LOS ANGELES, CA, USA After seeming to have fallen off of the face of the earth during Michael Jackson's autopsy, the missing prosthetic nose has finally resurfaced; apparently, it was vacationing in the Caribbean in an attempt to clear up some long standing issues.
The prosthesis, who now prefers to be known by the stage name "J-Nose", revealed he had recently wed Jackson's second wife and mother of two of his children, Debbie Rowe.
J-Nose and Rowe were united in a quiet civil marriage attended only by their respective legal counselors and Jackson's parents. J-Nose chose not to recite his vows himself, allowing Jackson's mother, Katherine Jackson, to speak for him, since everyone knows that noses tend to run on and Katherine certainly knows Jackson's will even better than Jackson himself and believes she has been authorized to speak and think on his behalf.
During a brief reception following the ceremony, Katherine Jackson reminded everyone that the wedding was not just a remarriage, since J-Nose is not only not Michael Jackson's original nose, it is only the most recent in along line of replacements, so the union should receive as much publicity as possible. Jackson family representatives are already in negotiations to release a documentary concerning the wedding and the couple's future plans.
The newlyweds intend to have several more children, using same sperm donor as they did to conceive Paris Katherine and Prince Michael I, so that all of the children will resemble each other and their father. The couple hope to eventually have more children than the recently revised "Kate Plus Eight Plus Or Minus Jon" and "OctoWelfareMom" combined so they will have a better chance at a more lucrative reality show deal and a increase the odds that "Grandpappy Joe" will be able to "whip them into shape" for a family world-wide music tour.