The Iranian ambassador to the real world has announced that President Avadmedinnerdad has accepted a nomination as Jeremy Clarkson's replacement phallus.
In a shocking revelation, it has been revealed that Mr Avadmedinnerdad has been desirous of a career in the Western media for a number of years.
"Why do you think I keep making ridiculous speeches, full of grammatical errors, historical innacuracies and insults to the West? It's to keep myself high profile of course" states the wily statesman at a news conference in an uptown Tehran pub.
The management of the drinking establishment, The Mullah and Martini were keen to point out that the background noise was the sound of Kalshnikovs being cocked, not roulette wheels.
"My PR - and lifelong friend - Simon Cowell, advised that the best way to break into the A-list was to become a transplantee, and so it was an easy decision to become Jezza's new dick. The Q'ran says I can have 72 virgins in heaven - and I'm ready for Subo's cherry as only an Iranian despot can be".
Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond and James May have agreed terms for a new series of Top Gear during which a new feature, "Star Screwed In The Back Seat Of A Reasonably Priced Car" will exercise Mr Clarkson's new genitalia - as well as his homophobia!
It has been reported on a number of Islamic websites that the real reason for Avadmedinnerdad's defection to Western genitalia is because he is a little prick.