Mudhouse, Kenya-- The nation of Kenya is celebrating the birth of its native son, Barack Obama on August 4th. The struggling, Third World nation will celebrate the event without the 45th President, he's too ashamed of his roots. The birth site is a simple hole in the ground in a remote village called Obamaville.
All of Obama's African relatives will be there for the festivities, the older ones remember the birth very well. The family has told the story many times to the world press, but the state-run media in the USSA prevents the real truth from getting out to Americans.
Grandmama Obama was there for the birth, and was delighted to talk about it. She pointed to a hole in the ground for this spoof reporter, and reminisced about the day.
"Everyone in the village remembers it! We had an extremely ugly white woman screaming for hours before the baby popped out, you don't forget something like that!" she laughed in an easy-going way. "She was so ugly, all the little children in the village would hide. They thought she was a witch!" she said.
Grandmama Obama says the delivery was very long and painful, and very disappointing for everyone.
"When the baby came out, we could tell something was wrong." she said somberly. "The baby had blue lips and ears like a donkey, it was very sad. We hoped it would die. We named the baby Barack, which means 'ugly' in our dialect. The white mother simply walked away from the poor baby after the birth. She was very wicked!" said Grandmama Obama. She made hand signs to chase away any lingering evil spirits.
"So all you Americans, please come to our little village and celebrate with us, we really are very nice people!" she said in her friendly manner. "We will show you the hole in the ground where Barack was born. All 250,000 of Barack's half-brothers and sisters will be there too!"