Written by Chamone

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Topics: Local, Cards

Saturday, 1 August 2009

image for Local Shop Sells Alternative Greeting Cards
Happy 45th Birthday, You Fucking Knob-head !!!

The local greeting card shop 'Birthmark' has opened a new section of 'alternative' cards designed for those usually awkward to cater for situations.

Customers can purchase cards celebrating divorce anniversaries with friendly greetings such as "Fuck off and Die Cunt!" and "You Were a Shit Lay and your Dick is Miniscule, Norman".

Cards commemorating the deaths of un-loved ones can be bought with messages such as "Rot in Hell, Grandpa!", and "I Piss on your Decaying Corpse, Arsehole!". These cards also come with a cheery electronic melody that plays a merry tune when opened.

"We've had lots of interest from local people and from non local people on the internet and surrounding community. They have really embraced the alternative greetings we offer", said shop owner Nora Barnacle.

The big seller this week is a card for those who have passed their exams to become Traffic Wardens, which reads "Congratulations on Being a Complete and Utter prick".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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