Written by Crabasina Grossen
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Thursday, 30 July 2009

Recently, a new STD has swept the state of Connecticut and New York. It is terribly unfortunate and has taken, thus far, about 200 lives. This is a new type of STD that no one has ever seen before. It seems to mock the existence of a human, prancing about biting anything that breathes.

"The new STD is one big, giant crab." -said an onlooker, who recently lost someone to the disease.
Recently, it has been described as a "pregnant flea hovering over a piece of shit." Some of the victims of this terribly tragic epidemic have actually impregnanted it but luckily, no other cells have successfully been produced. Rumor has it, the STD got two abortions and drank/smoked one of the other cells to death!

Doctors are scrambling for a vaccine to administer to all teenagers in the tri-state area but so far, there has been no luck.

The STD appears to look like a wax sculpture, and folks, if you spot this creature roaming near you, slide on your contraceptives and run as far as possible.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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