Israeli Premier Ariel Sharon has confirmed that his program to return the Golan Heights to Syria has hit a snag: the property is in his wife's name!
Speaking from his Tel Aviv HQ, Sharon lamented: "I was busy drafting a proposal and told Chaim, the family lawyer, to geb a koek der documents. A day later he runs in: 'Oy have we got tsoris, it's in her name'. Believe me Chaim understands tsoris, when that verbrente hears I'm looking to give away something in her name I'll be Mr Bobbit"
Replying to a query from Al Jazeera, the saxophonist from New Orleans, whether Mrs. Sharon would ever find out, Sharon explained that 'we are dealing here with a yenta without a job. Her friend Chanalla the beautician advises the Mossad on what's cooking'.
ABC's Dan Rather asked whether there were any proposals that could be put forward. "Look, I'm not an unreasonable man, so maybe they can't have it, maybe they can lease it, maybe we give her the rentals. Vos dos? Dos es they kumpt Monday to Friday and on a Shabbos they go home a little early, maybe a small reduction of rent..."
Asked if he was concerned about the Syrians posing a military threat, Sharon remained the businessman: "I would expect a tenant should behave, otherwise Chaim will throw the mumsers out. Don't let me have to hear in Synagogue on a Friday night that the Syrians are going to skip without paying rent, I'm not that reasonable".
In response to a question on whether Israel would be pulling down the wall Sharon responded : "Yes but only enough to make a gap for Chaim to go and collect the rent. It's a bit of a shlep but if it keeps the first lady happy then I'm sure Chaim will be more than happy to do it ".
Asked if he would like to add anything Sharon concluded by saying: "It doesn't have to be a Syrian, it's ideal for any Arab couple looking to rent, where a sea view is not a requirement. Let them contact Chaim".