Paris, France - French President, Nicolas Sarkozy, collapsed while jogging today. Reports are that it was shortly after he and his wife Carla Bruni-Sarkozy had a lover's quarrel over lovemaking. Sarkozy disclosed to his attending physician at the hospital that he had taken a Viagra pill 6-hours prior to his collapse, after apparently spending the first 4 of those 6-hours making love to beautifully 41-year-young wife, before she grew tired and wanted a respite.
"So Sarkozy took several cold showers like most men do in that situation but in his case it had no effect. Because of the medicine, you see?" said Ann-Marie Jacobs, the attending physician at the hospital in Versailles.
Thinking that taking a jog around the block might help subdue his erection, Sarkozy then decided to go out for a run to burn of the excess stamina.
"It was very bad timing," said a Josephine Jean-Michelle of a woman's lingerie shop, who witnessed Sarkozy collapse on her storefront. "The International Sex Workers Union was out protesting in the streets."
Sarkozy came across the sex workers who were all scantly clad in thin braless tops, see-through miniskirts and wearing thongs for underwear.
"He tried jogging pass them. But as soon as they realized who he was, they all began to crowd around him," continued shopkeeper who tried rescuing Sarkozy with a garden hose, watering down the young women. "By the time I got to him, it was too late. He collapsed to the ground face down semiconscious. I had keep back the kids from using him as a titer-totter."
In the back of the ambulance the all-female paramedic crew worked on Sarkozy taking turns try to bring down his erection by packing it in ice, but that had the opposite effect as he began losing consciousness again, his blood flow being redirected away from his brain, heart and other vital organs down to his penis to maintain his now 5-hour long erection.
"I didn't have much success either," said Dr. Jacobs.
Who, at one point, almost lost Sarkozy, bring him back by giving him mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, performing CPR.
"I had to climbing up on top of him to do it," said Dr. Jacobs as she climbed up on an empty hospital gurney to demonstrate, being interrupted by a code blue over the hospital's public address system. "I had to rock on top of him back-and-forth, back-and-forth like this, you see? Back-and-forth, back-and-forth to revitalize the most important organ of the human body...the heart -- excuse me I'm on call. I have to answer that."
After consulting with her all-female medical staff members, Dr. Jacobs made a call to the French President's wife, Carla Bruni-Sarkozy, asking her to come down to the hospital.
When Bruni-Sarkozy arrived, Dr. Jacobs explained to her the direr medical situation that her husband was in and asked if she did not mind saving him from a fatal erection by having a ménage a trios (a threesome) with Sarkozy and the President of France.
"When the doctor put it like that to me, I ask you, what self-respecting red blooded woman, former supermodel girlfriend of Mick Jagger could resist?" said Bruni-Sarkozy.
"Viva La France!" said Bruni-Sarkozy as she drew the hospital curtain behind her, her husband and the President of France.
"Viva Sarkozy!" said Dr. Jacobs and her female medical staff as they stayed and watched the two silhouettes making love, popping in from time-to-time to render their opinion and occasionally their assistance. Medically speaking, of course.