Written by Morse
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Topics: Penis, Aids, circumcize

Monday, 20 July 2009

image for Anonymous Tips Continue to Pile Up in Obama Circumcision Controversy!
Tips Adding Up in African Circumcision Campaign: Obama Remains Mute Regarding His Penis!

KwaZula-Natal, South Africa - Thousand of anonymous tips are piling up and causing a health problem at Orange Farm, South Africa, as hordes of African males arrive hourly to subject themselves to circumcision.

Responding to nationwide ads featuring Penis Spokesman Bargis Tryhol telling the men that circumcision could possibly cut AIDS infections by 50-60 % during heterosexual encounters, the French financed nip and tuck clinics are filled to overflowing.

Once medical volunteer, Dr. Victor Nikadik, a Proctologist from Russia, said he alone is doing over 55 clips per day.

"It's amazing really, I've never seen so much dark meat in my life...I primarily specialized in White Russians in Leningrad where I did my internship. Quite a difference between the two cultures, let me tell you! I could hold a Russian penis with a set of twizzers, nipped the foreskin, no problem. Over here, my Assistant, Nurse Bitters has to hold the member with two hands, and I need an apple corer to go around the head twice to get it all!"

A reporter for the Spoof.com did manage to stumble on what could be a lead story for Black People Magazine, when George Obama, a diluted brother to current US President for Life, Baramundy Obama Zulu, was found standing in line to get circumcised.

"I really felt I needed to make a statement by doing this,"said George, "most of us Zulus don't believe in getting circumcised, and as a result our infection rate is the highest in all of Africa, approaching 39%.....or almost as high as in your nation's capital of Washington, DC!"

When asked if he knew whether his more famous brother had had the operation anytime in the past, George was vague.

"I really don't think so, " said George," but I'm sure if he went public with the fact that he was going to Walter Reed Hospital in Washington to get Circumcised it would do a great deal to help cut down AIDS in his new home town."

"On the other hand, " George continued, "I do remember he was just like his father, very proud to show off his meat at the drop of a hat, or a political dialogue. If I were you, if he says he's circumcised, I'd DEMAND to see the certification....I think the tribal chief keeps them on record since alot of times they do it right at birth, especially if the newborn is only half black."

George seemed perplexed when told by the reporter that no one was quite sure where his brother had been born, a fact that has been causing a belated Constitutional Firestorm.

"Shit man, everyone over here knows the real story; the little bastard was dropped right in a goat pen in Kenya where his old man was working 30 hours a week herding goats, while his mom was finishing up her PHD on Community Activism and working as a Wal Mart Greeter."

George sent a public message to his brother by way of the Spoof Reporter, saying, "Hey, Barry....even though you've already fucked everybody over here, it's not too late to practice Safe Sex over there!" The reporter didn't have the heart to tell him the Obama Infection Rate was already spiraling out of control and had killed off most major banks, 2 car companies, and was now threatening all small businesses.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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