Los Angeles (AP) - Famed detective, Lieutenant Columbo of the L.A.P.D. has been called upon by President Bushed to get to the bottom of the Weapons Of Mass Destruction issue.
Columbo (first name unknown) 88, received the call from White House staff this morning as he was preparing to move from his bedroom to his bathroom in his state-of-the-art zimmer frame.
A White House spokeshuman confirmed, " Yes, we have spoken to the lieutenant, and he will be available to get over to get over there on the next flight. We have told him we expect him to find the W.M.D's in time for the election - and that there will be no need for him to take the zimmer frame as we have several set aside for him when he touches down."
The riddle of the W.M.D's whereabouts has been a sharp, insistent, and painfully septic thorn in the side of the 'Coalition of the Willing', ever since they were unexpectedly not stumbled upon. Even now it is expected that they remain waiting to be discovered, literally just inches below the hot shifting desert sands.
Outside the super-sleuths gates, life-long fan, Casper Burnsturmer, was upbeat. "Hell, this is it! We're sending in the A team now god-dammit. The Lieutenant'll find the suckers, or my name's Oprah!"
The Lieutenant was not available for comment, but is expected to begin his search at the ancient sea-port of San-Diego; before heading inland towards Las Vegas, then turning right and entering Area51, and finding all the W.M.D's.